Being a mum is a tough gig at times. Let's just be open and honest about that. Sleepless nights, endless crying, growth spurts, mum guilt...the list goes on. Something I've been having issues with lately is the guilt. Am I doing enough with Matilda? Is she a happy child?
I never used to beat myself up over stuff in life, I would get on with it. I didn't used to over-analyse or over-think - it just was what it was.
How motherhood changed all that.
In the first few weeks of Matilda's life, I felt pretty shitty. I'll dedicate more on that in a different post but it took me a while to find my feet, longer than other Mum's it seemed. Then when she was about 3 months old, we started going to baby groups, baby massage classes etc and I felt fully immersed in the new Mother & Baby lifestyle.
At 7 months old I returned to work part time, doing 3 days a week. And its since then that the guilt has grown and grown. On the days when I'm not at work, I feel so much pressure to do something fun with Matilda. Like a trip to the park or beach, a few hours at a soft play centre or a play date with other little ones. But on my days off I have shit to do too. A house that needs to be kept in a relatively clean state, washing that has to be done, food shopping and just other general boring errands that Matilda must hate, right?
I see the Instamums with their seemingly perfect fun filled days out and then think Matilda has spent the best part of an hour plonked in front of the telly watching Peppa Pig with a custard cream whilst Mummy does the washing up and prepares the tea.
She is a happy kid, I know that. And she loves me, no matter how many trips to Morrisons we make. I just have to remind myself of that. I work so that we can have an even better life as a family and honestly, work is sometimes my escape as I don't see my friends as often as I might like. But that is parenthood. My daughter laughs every day, like proper belly laughs and that brings a lump to my throat because she is an incredible little human.
I guess the point of this post is to let out the guilt. And to let other mums know that it is always OK to do what you need to do to get your shit done. So what if you haven't spent all day at soft play or the park? Playing in the garden at home pulling all the flowers from the fuschia is just as much fun to these little people. The pressure we put on ourselves as Mum's can be massive sometimes.
I would love to hear what you thought about this post.
Chloe x
No comments
Post a Comment